Misconceptions I Had About Sex

Sex is interesting, but boy is it confusing when you're just introduced to its aspects. To this day, I'm learning about actions I never knew about. So, I'm going to tell you about some of the things that baffled me for much of my life concerning this intimate experience. Some of these range from terms to expecting something completely different of the activity.

VAGINAS

As a little kid, the only thing on my mind were my classmate's feet. Penetrative sex wasn't a concept I contemplated, nor did it cross my mind the importance of genitals. That changed in fifth grade, when I had a sexual education class.

In the book that us students received, the vagina looked like an erect penis. Now, I don't know if it was meant to be an internal side-view or something similar, but it didn't resemble anything like what I know a vagina is now. Because of that, I went for years believing that girls had always-erect penises (called vaginas). And as for how pregnancies and sex would work, I assumed that the inside of their erect organ was hollowed-out, unlike the male penis.

I began to question if I was correct when I began looking at their crotches more and more. Look, I was a horny middle-schooler going through puberty. Anyways, since their crotches were so flat, I crossed out the erect-penis theory. By late seventh or eighth grade, I finally learnt how vaginas worked. But I didn't know what they looked like until around tenth grade.

Keep in mind, I watched very little porn at this time. Most of the porn I saw was focused on feet and involved very little with penetrative sex. The most explicit ones I tended to see were footjob videos.

MASTURBATION / EJACULATIONS

The concept of an ejaculation is regular to me now, but as a kid, I had no idea something could come out my penis except for urine.

The first time I had that experience was in fifth grade, age 10. I was reading a Kingdom Hearts foot fetish story on my smartphone, alone in my house. And while I'm reading it, my hips begin thrusting against the couch. Within seconds, I'm unconsciously humping the couch cushions. All I knew was that it felt good.

So, I read about white stuff covering Naminé's big toes, failing to understand what the real meaning was. Then a few seconds after getting to that part, I ejaculate. And it was a dry ejaculation since that's how they work for a very long time. So while I was figuring out what happened, I still had no clue what the "white stuff" on her toes was.

I wouldn't figure that out until about six months to a year later, as that's when I could finally start producing the stuff.

Then the word "cum" became ingrained in my internal vocabulary. To make the picture more relatable in my head during this time, whenever somebody would cum on feet, I imagined it like squirting and spreading frosting all over Toaster Strudels. Don't know why, but it helped me form a picture.

BLOWJOBS

Sucking on a penis wasn't too weird of an idea when I first heard of the term blowjob. My misconception here was the name itself. I thought that blowjobs referred to blowing air on the penis. But no, about a year later, I learnt that it involved sucking. That's a mindfuck even now. It's like calling a Push Pop a Pull Pop.

Furthermore, the idea of a blowjob sounded painful to me. Not because of teeth or anything, but because of a very peculiar circumstance. Our next subject, as a matter of fact.

CIRCUMCISION

For the longest time, I never understood why in drawings and real porn, the penis looked so naked. I'm one of the fortunate Americans who was never circumcised as a baby. Apparently, my mother was considering it, but my non-US father talked her out of it. And boy am I grateful for that.

While foreskin doesn't bother me, the trade-off for being uncut is having a very high level of sensitivity to contact. Since the glans of circumcised penises are always rubbing against something like underwear, they get relatively numb compared to the uncut penis, which is too bloody sensitive. Even a finger swipe against it could sting.

This made the idea of anything touching my penis, even a vagina, very horrifying. And it disappointed me, because once I discovered what footjobs were (we'll get to that later), I wanted one so badly. But I couldn't enjoy toes dancing on my glans if it was having a pain reaction every time.

Luckily, in my teen years, I began doing techniques to lessen the pain, such as more frequent touching to get it used to the contact. So now, while it's still fairly sensitive, it's not super painful after about a minute or two of exposure out the foreskin.

ANAL SEX

And now we pull a 180° with the blowjob situation. The name is direct here, anal sex. But as a kid, I didn't know it was possible to shove something in someone's butt. I believed that it would be full of waste, meaning whatever goes in would be stopped about two inches in at max. Seeing a few select drawings and reading a few stories definitely changed my expectations.

Know that at the time, while I wasn't homophobic, I never gave a deep thought to how gay sex worked. Which leads into...

GAY SEX

Now, by the time I first saw gay sex, the male stuff made sense to me. I had an understanding of anal sex, so I could see how it would work.

It's the female sex that raised some eyebrows. You know what? To this day, I cannot fully grasp how it works. When a man is involved, it makes sense because penetration is possible at all times. When the party only consists of women, there's no real penetrating going on without sex toys.

At the time, I didn't realise that there was more to vanilla sex than penetration. For that reason, I seldom looked up specific lesbian porn sex, even going into my teenage years.

While I have a slight better understanding of the various ways women can have sex with one another, young me thought it all looked stupid.

CUCKHOLDING

Similar to blowjobs, the name confused me here. While I could read well, I pronounced cuckholding as "cockholding". I thought the action consisted of a vagina rubbing up and down the shaft of a penis until an orgasm happened. There may exist an actual name for that technique.

When I discovered what cuckholding really meant, it's no surprise I had questions. Mainly, "Why would you want to watch somebody have sex with your spouse?"

EBONY

Not a sex thing really, but something that confused me. I didn't know what ebony meant as a kid. Even now, while I know the meaning, it's weird. Why was it decided to just call Black women ebony? Because Black has a negative connotation? I don't see special terms given to any other race/ethnicity.

FOOTJOBS

Where did the -job suffix originate from? Seriously. Footjob sounds like it could refer to any activity done on the feet rather than giving a penis a massage.

But I digress. Similar to when I first discovered masturbation and ejaculations, I learnt of the term footjob from that same Kingdom Hearts story online. I was initially confused because of the wording. "Giving a footjob." It didn't make sense to me for a while, but after noticing the trend of the feet rubbing the penis, I got the idea.

You can bet this was one of the topics I daydreamed about in school, when those flats and flip-flops were dangling about.

CONCLUSION

It's kind of fun to look back on those more nostalgic days when I didn't have a clue in the world how sex worked in various ways. Younger me and present me are nothing alike in knowledge of these subjects. Well, except that we'll never get the more out-there stuff.

What are the things about sexual activities that confused you in your life? Fetish stuff should be included, since by all accounts, it's all sexual. Even if you don't think it is, it is. Who knows, you might be teaching me and others something we didn't know.